Category Archives: Rejection

Another rejected article. Makes me sad.

The Internment of Youth


[Rejected from two more job apps. Depression alleviated next day by buying olives. Olives are lovely. Good food promotes good mood. TV said that. An article pitch rejected. Idea taken by editor pitched to. Devastated. Also ran out of olives. Double devastated. Graduate life is difficult.

Why do the big people make young people do bad things? Oh no. Triggered all-boys Catholic school flashback. Must go. Feeling unwell. Article follows… ]


Something untoward has happened to us. The youth have graduated into a harsh climate of injustice, passed from the womb of university into triage, onto the fetid floor of an internment camp, an internment camp that will take most of us months, a year, maybe years to escape.

Unpaid internships are illegal. The Institute for Public Policy Research says so. Profitable organisations that hire unpaid interns seem to think that what they are doing is okay, so long as both parties agree no payment will be received. The lawful reality is that Minimum Wage legislation states it is illegal even if some shake-o-the-hands occurs, and even if the position boasts “Expenses paid! Your lunch free! Your bicycle wheels funded!”

A degree is not enough anymore. Are you young? Are you on the Earth? How many times have you heard those words? A degree is not enough anymore. We have worked for three, four, possibly more years, on the advice of our school teachers and parents who specifically parroted each other when they cawed “Get a degree. Get a job. A degree’s the man. A job’s the plan.” So let’s do it. Three, four, more, years and a saunter round Europe with a backpack of debt, eating our overdraft(s) out of plastic containers with the salt piled on to cover up the bitter taste and make us want to drink more (not difficult).

I applied for a job as Media Development Officer at the University of Sheffield, a position involving teaching students the technical and legal aspects, etc of running the student paper. A student paper I spent 3 years getting to know in various aspects. A couple of other people I knew applied at the same time, and these people alone were talented enough to blow me right out of the pool. Despite spending 3 years working on various parts of the student media and getting to know it a little bit here and there, I did not even get to the interview stage. I don’t know if any of my more experienced friends did either. Mary Anne Hobbs got the job. BBC Radio 1 DJ. 14 years experience. Of course Mary Anne Hobbs would get the job. This is fair enough. I’m only demonstrating that these are the kind of people we, the youth, are up against in the job stakes, not counting the 69 other applicants just recently graduated. Mary Anne had no want of experience; she was working hard while we were still fucking around with our power rangers.

So now they say a degree is not enough. Get over the shock, they say. Deal with it. Okay, okay, so what’s the plan, what’s the man? An internship, I think you’ll find Johnny. Will you get paid? Heavens to Barclays, you certainly will not. But think of that lovely CV bolster you’ll get for two or three months work with the big men.

Pardon me, but three, four, more, years ago that is exactly what you said about a degree. The youth have no guarantee of a job, internship or not. Perhaps once the months of unpaid work rack up we might stand on a level playing field. But right now the playing field is unlevel and all the men with baseball bats are wearing suits with name tags that read “Hello, my name is BONEFUCKER.”

Here comes the problem. It is one that is dealt with elsewhere more eloquently and more righteously than it is on these shores. That is the following: for want of experience, we cannot hope to get experience. The big companies and publications know this, the savy rascals, and they have cornered the job market – sorry – the non-job market. They are the guards who spit on the interned. The ones that man the watchtowers, that shine the spotlight on us in ‘internviews’ and tell us to dress up nice and dance. Pretty, oh so pretty. They cornered the non-job market the same way they cornered the gap-year market, so now we end up paying recruitment agencies stupid amounts in fees to go and work or volunteer abroad. (When did we start having to pay fees in order to volunteer? Is that something that always happened?)

But what now? It is quickly becoming the case that some internships are demanding previous experience as an intern in similar environments when considering your application. So the Catch-22 became a Catch-222. And it so continues ad absurdum: for want of money, we cannot hope to get an internship, for want of an internship we cannot hope to get another internship, for want of our second internship we cannot hope to get experience, for want of experience we cannot hope to get experience, for want of experience we cannot hope to get money. The Catch-22,222.

The graduating climate is shafting the less well-off, no matter how clever, skilful or qualified they are. It’s not all champagne and Egyptians. Those graduating without a grand in their back-burner (quite a lot of us considering we are all in bloody debt) can’t afford to work for nothing. Nor should we.

The big dogs are particularly shaft-happy in the media. The Telegraph reported the above story about how unpaid internships are illegal. The next day they were advertising for the position of an unpaid intern to work alongside their design team for Telegraph magazine in London for four months. (“Your bike wheels pumped! Teabags on expenses!”). Oh, Telegraph, what are you like.

The climate goes beyond producing a blistering tundra with only internships in sight. The attitude that young people should be prepared to work for sweet Foxtrot Alpha has infected the freelance market. It has infected the film industry. It has infected marketing, banking, accountancy. It has infected law and it has infected the government – the two institutions we would like to hope to stand up for what is lawful do nothing but get on board the Great Rip-off Zeppelin. But wait, surely there is a body that will stand up for young people – the student unions! The National Union of Students even! The same student unions that proudly boasted “not for profit, just for students” while they over-charged for their Coca-Cola and their “University of Woooo!” hoodies? The same student unions that stood up so ineffectively against top-up fees? Admittedly not for lack of trying, the poor buggers. The Union officers have become ineffectual. Maybe it’s because, as a friend put it, most of them are career politicians, they want a job with one of the main political parties at the end of their time in “power”. What use is it ruffling the feathers of their superiors? They do not want a premature experience of the whip, something that would leave them all Tuckered out.

Especially when they are getting paid. These people, who are supposed to represent the young unpaid adults of the UK, are the only ones getting paid for their year-long internship. “It would look silly if we complained!” They are undeniably career politicians, born holding a briefcase. Inside the briefcase is a knife. It is for stabbing their way up the greasy, fleshy pole.

Observe the cynicism. We are young people. We shouldn’t be thinking things like this, should we? Of all the people in the world you would expect to have some idealism, some positivism left, surely it would be the youth. But no. This is it. Something untoward has happened to us. And now it is time to play the game. We all like playing games, don’t we? Clearly. This is the best one. The global interactive storytelling experience. 101% on Metacritic.

The Blame Game.

A month ago I got an email from a gaming website asking me for permission to republish an article. It was not a small website. I am certain it classifies as a profitable organisation. Yet when I asked if I got any money for it I was told it would just be the byline and a link to the original host – Resolution Magazine (a voluntary, for-the-love, website, where no-one gets paid). I took it. I took the byline. Where is the culprit?

It is me.

This is the most damning, the most tragic, heart-achingly idiotic thing about the entire unpaid internship/unpaid work market. It is our fault. We are taking the internships. We are taking the bylines. In our fever for recognition and our ambition to cut off the competition we are encouraging the practice, we are perpetuating that harsh climate – we are the Kapos to our own internment.

I loathe myself every time I think of the article I sold for nothing but – what? – prestige? Did I even get that? A line on a CV.

We cannot eat lines on a CV. We cannot pay the man or woman behind the counter at GAME with references. How far has it come that we have sidled up to the big publications, companies and organisations in order to screw over our fellow youth? When did the definition of ‘Mercenary’ read “someone who is willing to work for no remuneration”?

There is the problem. Now, I have a radical solution. Unpaid interns in the UK – Sue. Your. Employer. Or take them to an employment tribunal, rather. It’s been done before, successfully.

Oh wait. Lawyer’s fees. I forgot about those. Maybe you can recruit someone to represent you, on a no-win-no-fee basis? Oh, just recruit an intern on a no-fee-no-fee basis.

What they are doing is illegal. It is also not fair. And only some young people seem to be able to see it. Is it round? Is it square? What shape is this ‘not fair’? The government seems to be doing tits-all to get something done about it. The unions seem to be doing double-tits-all. The obvious way you can stop employers from taking advantage of young workers is to hit them where it hurts – their accounts departments. That delicate area is precisely the greedy appendage that is encouraging them to hire unpaid interns in the first place (no matter how wealthy they are). But even this COA is only open to those with cash. If anyone can find a way of taking this up without paying a lot – there are ways – then I suggest you go for it.

Think such a reactionary idea will only result in no internships for anyone? You think that because of the recession these big companies can’t afford to pay one more person the minimum wage? Get a grip (“Handlebar grips paid for you! Breaks oiled!”). They can afford it. And if they can’t, they are going to have to find a way to afford it. Because unpaid labour for a profitable company is unacceptable. And once they see that they are vulnerable to lawsuits they will have to start to offer paid intern positions. They won’t close up. They won’t stop offering internships. They need the youth, badly. We are the future. They need our ideas, our skills and our tea. If they do not comply, they will meet the future on their way down. And something untoward will happen to them.


Filed under Damn youse, Rejection

The Good, the Bad and the Angry

[The Escapist rejected. Upset. Cried into pillow all night. Silver lining: woke up with wet head. No need to shower. Wrote article anyway. May make habit of this. Ignoring rejections – not showers. Article follows…]

It wasn’t until I’d lapped round the inside of my house twenty or thirty times that I realised I was a pacer. One of those immeasurably restless rubes that keep walking up and down past the television, obscuring your view of Morrigan’s cleavage. You shouldn’t even be looking at Morrigan. You should be at work or university or looking at your girlfriend’s torso ONLY.

So I was a pacer. I was a-pacing because I was trying to think up a wee story that would fit perfectly on the world-wild-web that you are now trotting through. Saddled up on your mouse squinting like Clint Eastwood, trying to get the glare out of your eyes. Anyway, you’ve started so you may as well finish. Spit out yer tarbac and settle down Clint.

That day, late in May, I was pacing along nicely and I soon arrived at the point of my article. I was discussing the state of video games journalism in my head with an imaginary antagonist – my Private self – after having read an article posted by Chris Lepine (admittedly, over a year ago) on blog The Artful Gamer.

Lepine laments the decline of New Games Journalism – that writing concept popularised by Kieron Gillen, now of Rock, Paper, Shotgun, in 2005. Sorry. ‘Decline’ isn’t the word. Mutation. New Games Journalism had mutated, according to Lepine, into a horrible stagnant pit of opinion pieces and inane babbling. He doesn’t word it this strongly, of course, but I’m about to attack his position, so I thought I’d make him sound like a real unreasonable fella. He isn’t.

(He is though).

Anyone who has followed the New Games Journalism ‘movement’ probably wants to feed me to feral children for even mentioning the blasted premise. I’ll let it die. No, really I will. Just one more thing…

Kieron Gillen himself expressed an odd kind of quasi-remorse for even giving the movement its big ol’ push down the hill. It’s easy to think people went tumbling down that hill after the concept like so many basketcase cheese-chasers. Lepine’s thoughts are pretty much this, claiming that there were many casualties. Writers who strut and shout and fall over and have to queue up for the ambulance instead of capturing that much sought after cheese-wheel of good games writing.

But wait. Stay your hand, Judge Well-Read. There were also many brilliantly written articles. Art in themselves? I reckon (and this is just my opinion, you understand) that any ‘opinion’ pieces or inane babbling masquerading as New Games Journalism – even badly written ones – are a necessary by-product of the world of games writing.

Once you ask writers to record their subjective experiences you will always get a few pretentious wankers who will start an article by telling you something completely irrelevant and uninteresting. Like how they were pacing around their house, in deep thought, referencing theatre and being unconsciously misogynistic. Cinema, television, literature, art. They all have journalists like this. And the web is infested with Joe Blogs telling us how many slices of malt loaf they had in the morning. [Ha!] Did anyone actually think games would be any different? The sad fact is that you can’t say “let’s all record our experiences of videogames subjectively, that’ll be great craic, and oh so very arty!” and then say “waaait, hold on now, I didn’t mean you could talk only about yourself for five hundred words, and in such a non-arty way too!”

So the quality of writing appears to be the thing. Not the subjectivity. Whether it interests the reader is the big, shiny key. Not whether it fulfils some intellectual demand for a new kind of writing.

When it first surfaced, there were those who disputed whether the category of New Games Journalism should even exist and would probably still dispute it to this day. There’s something to be said for this view but for the meantime I’m happy to acknowledge ‘NGJ’ because it makes it easier to categorise, to separate from standard review copy. And let’s get this straight: these kinds of articles are not – nor do I think they are intended to be – reviews. They aren’t meant to be overtly informative. But they are meant to be entertaining.

Alex Kierkegaard, a very intelligent, very angry man, rightly critiques any piece of New Games Journalism that calls itself a ‘review’ on the grounds that it is a colossal misnomer. Game mechanics, graphics, sound and other aspects of the game which are important to people looking for a standard review are glossed over in favour of personal experience. While this is interesting and valid when given another title as a long-form feature, it isn’t what anyone considers a ‘review.’

But then Kierkegaard reveals his real problem with articles and blogs that style themselves as New Games Journalism:

“So talking about videogames is a way for a diary author to attract readers. The diary author of course mainly wants to talk about himself (his thoughts, his experiences, his travels, his friends — his boring, banal little life)…

“In short, the diary author/NGJ writer couldn’t care less about the rules of criticism or about delivering a worthwhile critique — he is simply taking advantage of the fact that a lot of people are anxiously on the lookout for information on some hot new game, grabs the chance to attract this audience, ascends on his pitiful soapboax, and proceeds to wax lyrically on any subject under the sun that interests him — above all about himself — and as a secondary consideration also on the general subject of ‘videogames.'”

Here’s a problem that is not exclusive to journalism: ego. When we read articles by a person with an enormous ego we generally have one of two natural responses.

i) We are impressed. We are influenced. We praise them. We defend them. We consider them charismatic.
ii) We are repulsed. We are resistant. We dislike them. We attack them. We consider them arrogant.

Kierkegaard appears to take the latter response to NGJ, since he states that it is invariably egotistical. But note two writers and thinkers he often quotes. One is Friedrich Nietzsche and another is George Orwell.

Nietzsche wrote an essay all about himself titled “Why I am So Wise” while Orwell begins a list of reasons for a career in writing:

“1. Sheer egoism. Desire to seem clever, to be talked about, to be remembered after death, to get your own back on grown-ups who snubbed you in your childhood, etc etc. It is humbug to pretend that this is not a motive, and a strong one.”

Perhaps Kierkegaard considers only prestigious and intelligent writers forgivable in indulging their ego, adopting a Kid Rockian philosophy of “It ain’t cocky motherfucker if you back it up.” A fair point. But Orwell does not keep this motive exclusively to himself – he extends it to every writer and subsequently every article (like the great article you’re reading right now, for instance) – Oh my days, I did it myself. But then again, I am very intelligent. Oh blimey, I did it again.

There were others who loathed the NGJ concept as much as if Gillen had come up to them and taken a big steamy one in their Earl Grey. Now, I love a good rant. Rants make the world go round. You can’t beat ‘em with a big stick. But sometimes ranters need to take a big blue chill suppository. You don’t have to read this New Journo stuff if you don’t want to.

In a whole bunch of ways, Lepine, Kierkegaard and the ranters were right. Nobody really wants to listen to the banal details of somebody’s life when it is gaming that is supposed to be getting the run-over. But don’t point the finger at the manifesto, comrades. By all means, take issue with the artfulness (or lack thereof) of what the individual writer produces. But in defence of Gillen’s guidelines, if they are followed well they are perfectly adequate for resulting in quality writing about games. And I’m sorry, but if you don’t like egotistical writers who get the formula wrong then you’re going to have to get the fuck off the planet. Because frankly, they’re gonna happen. For all the diverse articles written about the Vietnam War there was Nicholas Tomalin’s The General Goes Zapping Charlie Cong and Michael Herr’s Khesanh. Both amazing pieces of writing. But doubtless there were innumerable opinion pieces, both good and bad, floating around as well – forgotten maybe – but still serving their own purpose at the time.

I know it seems like that is comparing world news to what is essentially a medium of entertainment. Which is mad. But it does seem that videogame journalists lie in an odd limbo between being a passive movie critic and being a virtual travel writer. You can get your gaming news reporter. And the features writer, the interviewer. But generally speaking all roles fall together and there’s a bit of everything to be done. It makes sense that games critics follow the trends of those in other entertainment industries. The only reason that games have produced their own form of New Journalism where criticism of books, movies or music have generally not (the exception being interviews with authors, actors, singers, etc otherwise regarded as features) is that games are an experience. You actively play a part in the story. It’s why New Games Journalism articles always seem to work better in multiplayer games – because more humans (generally) equals a more unpredictable experience. Ultimately, NGJ is the result of interactivity in the entertainment. And interactivity is a whole other shitstorm I’m not prepared to enter because, frankly, neither of us have our waders on today, cowboy.

We’ve all sauntered across highly-charged articles that make our screens froth with all their righteous anger (I be lookin’ at you Yahtzee Croshaw). And whether we agree with their verdict is beside the point. But their self-aggrandising indignation doesn’t mean they’ve failed the New Games Journalism standard. In fact, most never even said that New Games Journalism was what they were trying in the first place. Most are just writing opinion. And fair play. The fairest of all plays in the land to them. Hamlet to them.

Colour me pretentious, I’ve only gone and mentioned theatre again.

One problem is that we assume that there is – or should be – some line between the games journalism written by opinion columnists like the wonderful, intellectual, panda-saving (and modest) people at the Escapist and the writing of this ‘ideal New Games Journalism.’ The writing of defining articles like Bow, Nigger. We assume that it is a clear line between the quality of writing in each, I mean. If there is a line then it is not the white line of Pong. It’s a wide, fuzzy, winding, invisible, multi-dimensional haze of a line, one that is completely ineffective at stopping people from moving from one territory to the other. It is the Maginot line of videogame journalism. We’ve probably all read self-centred opinion pieces that we thought were amazing. And maybe we’ve read something long-form which we thought was amazing too.

Opinion pieces can easily co-exist with New Games Journalism or ‘long-form journalism about video games’, if you really want to call it that. Turns out there is enough room in this town for the both of us, Blondie. And room for every other form of games journalism, capitalised or not. I don’t think anyone ever suggested we kill off one form of writing in favour of another. Madness. The only one who needs to go is the Bad.

Journos need to stop hating and live and let live, write and let write. I know there’s an irony in that sentence, seeing as I am acting as a critic of critics of critics, but hopefully this is constructive criticism of criticism of criticism and not the raving, hating kind. I genuinely enjoy the writing of Chris Lepine and Alex Kierkegaard, there is immeasurable room for their writing in this town too. I just don’t agree with them if they are implying that there is something categorically wrong with New Games Journalism.

As has been argued on the Escapist ages ago – there is nothing (very, absolutely) wrong with games journalism. It’s not ill. It hasn’t contracted an Ebola of Words. It isn’t about to be over-run by Africanised killer-egos. And it isn’t unexciting or flat either. Anyone waiting for some New New Games Journalism to come along needs to get stuck into some Ritalin cake or something because I’m telling you, things are GRAND. Nature will run its course. Good writing will come crawling out of the sea, grow wings and survive. Bad writing will be shaped like a penis and lounge about, unnoticed on the shore.


Filed under Rejection